Penelope Learns Her Lesson
by XMytho-LogicX
Summary: A series of connected one-shots where Penolpe Bunce continually walks into Simon and Baz's room at inopportune times. Hopefully it's funny! Rated T for content (But no cursing) SimonxBaz
1. Well This Is Awkward

Baz

I gasp as Simon brushes his fingers down my spine and sucks on my throat, drawing circles with his tongue. We took our shirts off awhile ago and his chest is pressed against mine. He's warm and I'm cold. We're a perfect contrast.

"Simon," I moan, arching my back. I used to tell myself that I was deluded, that this would never happen. But now we're kissing and I can't get enough of him. This will be hard later, but I don't think about it. I don't think about anything; I can't.

"Baz," he growls huskily. Usually his growls means he's angry, but this one in full of want –no, need.

"Hey Si- Holy mother of Merlin!" Bunce yells. Simon rolls of me (and my bed), landing on the floor with a thunk. Jumping to his feet, he watches her nervously.

"Please put your shirt- shirts back on," she mumbles staring at the ceiling. She doesn't move until we do.

"You can look now," I tell her, exasperated. The two of them are red and if I had drunk more blood than I would be too. I'm thankful for that.

"So you two are dating?" she asks, jumping right to the most important question like always.

"Um…." Simon said, sounding dumb. "I- I dunno. Maybe?" He looks to me, expecting me to know. I sigh. "Subtle."

"Because walking in on you two making out is?" Bunce asks, laughing. She sits on Simon's empty bed and starts staring at my neck, trying not to laugh. I scowl and look at Simon expectantly. His face is florescent red. I go into the bathroom and look into the mirror, tilting my head. _Crowley, no._ I can't believe it. Bloody Snow gave me a hickey. Of course it's already starting to fade, but still. Forgetting Bunce is there, I storm out, grab Simon's shirt and whisper, "Really, Snow? You just couldn't control yourself, could you?"

Then I let go and clamp on one hand on my neck and the other over my eyes. "A hickey, Snow? Really?"

He smirks. "You didn't seem to mind while I was giving it to you."

"Ugh, I'm gone," Bunce says, getting up and walking out.

I give him a half smile. "Payback time." He grins.


	2. And I thought That Was Awkward

And I Thought that was awkward!

Simon

I don't know why I agreed to this, but I'm glad I did.

I'm lounging on my bed, following Baz with my eyes.

He's dancing erotically and he's half-naked. I want him to go farther, but I know he won't. Instead I drink him in, thinking.

I can't get enough and I know he loves seeing me heated up like this.

At first he had been grinning, watching me to see how I'd react, but now he's in his own little world, so focused on what he's doing that makes me realize he's done this before.

If I didn't know that I was the first person to watch me dance (He'd been pretty shy about doing it, but had pleaded for me to let him do this and had assured me that this was his first time in front of anyone) then I would be mad with jealousy, wondering who he had danced for.

Instead this was a fantastic show that is only for me.

I gasp in surprise as he gets on top of me; a lap dance.

Baz

I pulled a fast one with the lap dance.

He's enthralled and I'm surprised; I'm only using instincts to do this. I've never taken lesson, not in exotic dancing anyways. I've had professional ballroom classes, but I can't imagine what Father would say if I asked. I laugh anytime I think about it.

Simon is trying not to breath, maybe so that I won't get scared and flee or so that he won't do something he regrets.

Maybe he's not ready for this.

I'm about to ask him if he's alright when who should walk in, but the one and only Penelope Bunce?

She yelps and covers her eyes immediately, blushing.

This is the second time and it's really irritating. I slide off Simon's lap and slip my pants back on before putting my shirt on.

"You can look," I sigh, wishing she would leave.

It wouldn't matter if she did because the moment is ruined.

She frowns, sitting down on my bed much to my dismay.

Not that I blame her; Simon still has a look of shock on his face.

"Did you need anything, Bunce?" I ask, forcing myself to look bored.

I had fed earlier and I thanked whoever -or whatever- was watching me for letting me digest enough blood so that I wouldn't blush.

I'd rather die than let Bunce see me blush.

She nods, instantly distracted. "I promised Simon I'd help him study for a test."

I glare at my boyfriend, hating him for forgetting. Of course I stopped being mad instantly, but I'm not telling him that.

"Right," he mumbles, grabbing his wand.

I nod to Bunce before going to leave, but before closing the door, I turn to her and say, "Learn to knock and we can avoid these situations."

She turns red.


	3. The Last Straw

Due to so many people loving this story I've decided to add to it.

Sorry for the wait.

Baz

I glare at the door for a few seconds, waiting to see if Bunce will barge in again, before playing my violin.

This isn't for anybody except me and for the love of Crowley if that girl invades my privacy again I'll bleed her dry.

My emotions go into my music and it becomes violent and rushed.

Simon and his friend share a lack of privacy and I love him, truly, I do, but I would like to relax in my own room without them bursting in.

Is that my punishment for dating my sworn enemy? I can't decide if it's worth it.

"Simon?" Penelope asks, swinging the door open.

That's it.

I lay down by violin and glare at her. "Get out."

"I was just-"

"I. Don't. Care. Get out. This is my room and you refuse to even knock before you enter. You remind me of my little sister. She too seems to think my room belongs to her."

The girl blushes and leaves, closing the door behind her.

That was the last straw.

Penelope

The morning after baz got mad at me, I got to their room to apologize. Baz had been really upset when I came in yesterday without announcing myself, so i think it's only fair.

"Baz?" I ask, knocking. No one answers so I let myself in.

The room is right from one of my nightmares.

It's bathed in blood and there's a body in Simon's bed.

"Simon!" I scream, running over.

I throw back the covers to see baz casually laying on his bed. "If you don't start knocking I will coat this room in real blood."

I don't know what Simon sees in this bloodeater.

"What did you want anyways?" he asked, spelling the room clean.

"Just to say I'm sorry. And maybe get some lunch with my boys in the Catacombs.

A peace offering.

"I'm your boy now?" he asks, smirking. "I'll find Simon."


	4. AN

p style="text-align: center;"emTo anybody who cares enough to read this/em/p  
p style="text-align: center;"emI'm sorry I haven't updated anything, but honestly I feel no inspiration and kind of like I'm not a good writer./em/p  
p style="text-align: center;"emI hate to say this, but without people to urge me on, this work has become tedious and depressing./em/p  
p style="text-align: center;"emI'm not asking for much, just leave a comment. Tell me I suck, tell me what you did or didn't like about it, tell me how to fix it./em/p  
p style="text-align: center;"emSorry guys, Logic Out./em/p 


	5. This One's On You

Simon

I smile, a sour cherry scone in my mouth, as i snuggle up beside Baz on the couch.

He rolls his eyes, but takes a bite of it.

Merlin, I love his fangs.

He's wearing the shirt I got him. The one that says "Bite Me" on it.

I drop the scone into my hand then kiss his neck.

It's been two years since… Everything.

All of us are doing good. I don't even talk to my therapist as much as I used to. Despite his mocking, Baz loves my tail and so do I. Penny never moved to America; actually Micah moved here.

All four of us are good friends, though our boyfriends took a little while to get used to each other.

All in all, I'm happy.

"Hey guys," Penny yawns, flopping onto the chair. "What are we watching?"

"Penny seriously? What happened to alone time?" I groan, pulling away from Baz.

She rolls her eyes. "You're in public space. This one's on you this time."

Infuriatingly, my Vampire just grins at her before kissing me roughly. I'm enjoying it, but my face burns.

"You're a spiteful prat," she laughs, throwing popcorn at us. "Both of you."

I'd reply, but his tongue is down my throat, and Crowley it feels amazing.

"Get a room," she whines.

Things have changed these past few years.

Baz used to be really shy about loving me, but now he always kisses me.

I accidentally moan and Penelope pinches the bridge of her nose.


End file.
